I flew through the thick mist, over the tall castle towers with the long ripped black flags covered with pictures of scowling skulls. I flew down, softly landing on one of the tower’s window sills.
“There you are!” the witch shouted. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Caw!” I responded.
The witch grunted, grabbed me, and walked into a room full of items to make spells with. In the middle was a giant gray pot. The witch shoved me into a small cage.
“Oh no,” I thought.
Meanwhile, the witch was mixing a bunch of things together.
“Perfect!” the witch announced.
She poured the black mix all over me. I felt dizzy for a second, then I sprouted into a sleek black cat with glowing green eyes.
“I must turn back!” I thought to myself.
The witch left.
Now that I was a cat, I could fit through the bars and quickly ran to the spell book. I opened it to “How to Turn a Cat into a Raven,” page 11,100,000,000,000. The list said,
To be continued! What an effective mix of setting description, action, and dialogue. Sophie has already brought the reader through the first "doorway of no return." The cat has no choice of turning back, and must continue forward to solve the problem. The tension begins to rise. Wonderful writing!
Sarah Pemberton is a teacher, a writer, and the founder of Write Now!. Sarah lives in Portland, Oregon with her two daughters.